Badger watch
Badger watch

What’s black and white and turns up at 4am on your doorstep? A dead badger, it seems, according to Tory MP for Bridgwater and West Somerset, Ian Liddel-Grainger. Although dead badgers aren’t an uncommon site around the country, even more so now that Mr L-G and his Government voted through a major cull to dispatch 1,000s more of them to early graves, you don’t often find them on your doorstep.

Mr ILG, recently rocked by the Royal birth shunting him further backwards in his claim to the throne (he was 359th, being a great great great grandson of Queen Victoria) and lately unearthed as ‘topping the Parliamentary nepotism league’ in an article on the Guido Fawkes blog, nevertheless knew who was to blame for his badgery visitation. “Scroungers and malingerers” he told the Western Morning News, instantly certain that the people who had apparently ‘staved in ‘ this badgestop the cullrs head were the very people spending their nights on ‘Badger watch’ trying to prevent the senseless cull of thousands of these creatures. He went on “And that’s puzzling because, while it was clearly a gesture by the Pro-badger Tendency, I thought most of them were in the habit of lying in bed until the pubs open, or until the postman arrives with the benefit cheque (or do such things get paid straight into their accounts these days?)

 “They’re all malingerers and scroungers”

“Either way, since they are all malingerers and scroungers there is no real incentive to leap out of bed as soon as the dawn chorus strikes up.”

Mr ILG, a former army officer, was a little unclear as to how the badger met it’s fate – ‘either battered to death or gassed’ was his early verdict. Not too obvious from the visual forensics then….

But of course there were soon enough Police officers on his doorstep offering to investigate. oddly, by now he decided that this wasn’t necessary. He’d now given the badger a decent burial so that was that.

However, the row hasn’t died down yet. The ‘scroungers’ now seem to have had the nerve to  take offence at Mr Liddel-Grainger’s conclusions . Who was he to say who was the scrounger when in 2010 he’d handed taxpayer-funded jobs to his wife and 2 of his kids? Surely he couldn’t have made up such a story? He doesn’t do that kind of thing. Well, apart from that time a few years ago when he was caught sending made up emails to his own web site, but that’s probably just because nobody else wanted to write to him.

‘Never voting Tory again’

"Not Guilty!"
“Not Guilty!”

The badger cull appears to be losing the Tories voters. Bob and Sue Trayford wrote to Somerset Labour saying “We have a small farm in Kingswood Stogumber and we are totally horrified by this cruel and barbaric cull of our wildlife. We have sets on our land that we guard with our life. We have never voted before for Labour but it is now a real possibility!! We will never ever vote for a Conservative Government”


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