Tory Election Agent in ‘Definitely Not Another’ Election Stunt

Tory Action Man of the People, Diogo Rodrigues, was physically hurled through a window, gagged, bound, tied to a horse and dragged through the streets of Bridgwater whilst ‘pop music of an irritatingly tuneless nature’ was played through loud speakers to stop him asking questions at a town council meeting. What’s worse, Chairman of the Finance Committee Cllr Mick Lerry (75) ‘wagged his finger at him’. Well, something like that. Rodrigues, on this third major publicity stunt in 3 months targeting colleagues at Bridgwater Town Council, said that when he demanded that Cllr Lerry ‘stop wagging his finger at him’ he was ordered to leave the meeting. Struggling to know what to do for the best the Tory Parliamentary agent immediately took a selfie of himself outside of the town hall and put out a press story claiming victimisation and that he was only being a ‘critical friend’. Leader of Bridgwater Town Council, Brian Smedley, who was also at the meeting, said “Well, that didn’t happen. And if Diogo’s a ‘critical friend’ I’d hate to find a critical enemy….Clearly it’s election time and Diogo is the agent for the Tory candidate. But this doesn’t give him the right to take over a whole town council meeting with just his questions. He also needs to respect the authority of the chair,remember that there’s other people in the world apart from himself  and constantly trying to speak over people isn’t going to get him very far. What actually happened was Diogo wouldn’t shut up when asked to and instead  just went on and on. The chair then politely asked him to leave and he did. Hardly thrown out, and hardly censored as he’d already asked 8 questions while other members were patiently waiting to speak. Sadly, he wasn’t ‘Chucked out’ of the meeting, he left of his own accord, and the only thing bruised was his massive ego.”

An official statement from Bridgwater Town Council ran as follows;-

“The councillor in question was not removed from the meeting. After extensive questions asked, the chair of the meeting told the councillor to ask further questions to town council officers after the meeting, in order to give other councillors the opportunity to ask their questions.

“After a debate between the councillor and the chair, the councillor in question was asked if he would leave the meeting and he agreed and duly did.

“If any councillor does have further questions that are not addressed during a meeting, they can ask officers in an open and transparent manner and the response will be shared.

“Bridgwater Town Council’s code of conduct ensures that councillors are treated fairly and consistently. During meetings it is important that all members show respect for other members and the authority of the chair.”

Tory Candidate sees 30% slump in latest Poll

Despite his valiant efforts, the Tory Agent has instead seen his candidates popularity collapse in recent weeks as voters switch to Labour to ensure the Conservatives are shown the exit, whilst on the far right the ReformUk Party are seeking to replace them as the ‘newer and nastier’ Tories. Dropping to second place in the polls, which now show Labour in the lead, Cons second, Refuk third and the hapless Lib Dems dropping down to 4th, the imported Bristol Grandee, who was expecting a comfortable shoe in of a seat, is likely to spend less time campaigning in Bridgwater than his predecessor Ian liddell Grainger did in his 20 years as MP . Which is going some.

Lib Dems ‘not looking good’….. But did they ever?

The Bridgwater constituency’s ‘other’ imported candidate, Mendip ward county councillor Claire Sully, has also seen her popularity collapse in the last 2 opinion polls as Lib Dem tactics get increasingly desperate and the ‘party of protest and tory enablement’ now finds itself in 4th place. Sully has been claiming that Labour ‘aren’t fighting to win’ and is urging Labour voters to ‘vote for her instead’. Labour Candidate, local boy Leigh Redman, said “I’ve been out with teams canvassing every part of the constituency and I think I’ve found just 2 people who said they’d vote Lib Dem.”

Labour Town Council Leader Brian Smedley added “Lib Dems at election time are mind boggling in their exagerations and outlandish claims when the reality is usually diameterically the opposite.  When people hover their pen over the ballot paper and wonder if they should vote yellow they should remember the Lib Dems not only famously put the Conservatives back in at the 2010 election and their coalition enabled them to introduce all that Tory austerity but I remember back in the awful Thatcherite ’80s, which so devastated Bridgwater and other working class communities,  it was the Lib Dems, the SDP, the Liberals and all that lot that basically kept Thatcher in power by splitting the vote. Voting for them in the Bridgwater Constituency is a waste of a really important anti Tory vote and once again would only help the Conservatives back in to wreak their evil upon us. But that’s just my view. I’ve already voted Leigh Redman.”